Dear Phil Collins,

I suspect from your silence that you are not enthused about the TV idea.  Okay, fine, but I think you’re reaching a point where you need to branch out in order to maintain your comfortable lifestyle.  Celebrities are doing all kinds of things these days besides acting and singing, like putting their names on perfume bottles.   But for you I’m thinking quality food products, along the lines of Paul Newman’s “Newman’s Own” or Sammy Hagar brand tequila.   How about “Phil’s Hot Dumplings” or “Phil’s Favorite Microwavable BLT (In A Bowl)”?  You might prefer a more upscale approach, such as a line of gourmet Phil Collins organic vegetable broths.  How about fruit salad?  Everybody loves to eat fresh fruit but no one likes to cut it all up.  Especially pineapples.

You have to think about your future, Phil, you might not be of a mind to tour forever.

On A Suggestive Roll,

Your Fan.