Dear Phil Collins,

I can tell you’re mad.  I’ve been waiting for a new letter from you but your silence speaks volumes, or at least virtual paragraphs.  I’m sorry, Phil.  I know you’re probably exhausted right now since you wrapped your U.S. tour, but I think now is the perfect time to reach out to the many fans who did not have the opportunity to connect with you at a live concert.  Such as myself.

Maybe you didn’t have a chance to read my recent letters, but I suspect that you did, and you didn’t like what you saw, or thought you saw, or heard, or smelled, or maybe thought you smelled.  For that I am sorry. 

Phil, I would do anything to get back on your good side, just let me know what you need.  And if, somehow, in making up with me, that included a signed glossy photograph of yourself, well, that would be okay, too.

But honestly, I understand if it’s too early to start thinking about your next move, you probably want to take the next few months off to enjoy the holidays with whatever family you have left.  I get that.  But when you’re ready to take that next step, I’ll be right here, waiting for you.  Welcoming.  Supportive.  Eager.

In the meantime, I’m going to listen to your song “Misunderstanding” a lot of times, because that’s kind of how I feel right now.

Take care,

Still Your Fan.


Dear Phil Collins,

Sometimes my job makes me feel like a crazy person!  Management is like a load on my back — there’s too many of them, and they’re making too many problems.  I get more responsibility piled on me, with no increase in pay, and nary an accolade.  As a result I’m increasingly exhausted and confused — it’s got me so that I just can’t sleep.  I don’t have the energy to make use of what little creativity I have left, and I need to escape before they suck that last drop out of me.  Phil, I’ll do anything, anything, if you’ll just help get me out of here. 

Urgently Yours,

A Fan.