Dear Phil Collins,
I’m sorry that I kind of had a meltdown at you yesterday. It be’s that way sometime. But you probably understand what it’s like to get fed up with a job — I mean, you’ve done all kinds of stuff like movies and charity work in addition to your solo pop career and that band Genesis which breaks up and reforms a lot. I think it’s really cool that you’re a famous singer who plays piano and stuff, but that you used to be a pro drummer. My friend Johnny says you should never let the drummer sing, but I think he’s wrong. Levon Helm gets all kinds of hipster cred from rock critics even though you’re obviously way better looking than him. Also, what’s more hipster-y than playing drums for Brian Eno? I can’t think of anything. I don’t mean to say that you’re not a good singer, but I suspect your many other incredible talents sometimes get overlooked by the MSM.
I also like your sense of humor.
Thanks for listening, I guess I don’t really have a question for you today, but it’s nice to know you’re there for me. Stay solid.