Bush


Dear Phil Collins,

I just have to stop for a moment and say “woah.”  I know I’ve been complaining a lot that the Genesis tour isn’t coming to Minnesota, but I’ve got to put things into perspective and give you guys some credit.  I mean, it is amazing that you brave British lads are touring this war torn, disaster-ravaged nation of America.  A nation, these United States of ours, which is currently ruled by an administration that views your fellow countryman Cat Stevens as a credible threat.  Cat Stevens!  The guy who sang “Peace Train!”  I mean, seriously.  It’s a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world, ain’t it?  Maybe it’s time for you guys to make another cutting political commentary with puppets.  Knock some sense back into us!

Thank you for coming to our country to spread your message of love and hope.  Just watch your backs, okay?

Keeping The Fire,

Your Admiring Fan.

Dear Phil,

As a noted public figure who has written and recorded at least eight number one hits, your feelings about current world events are probably constantly sought out. Your fans in America, of course, have a lot of different feelings about the military conflicts in the Middle East (more specifically, between the Tigris and Euphrates). Some of those feelings include: angry, sad, proud, confused, worried, irritated, cautious, bitter, bored, resentful, apathetic, unhappy, gleeful, jealous, lustful, and zesty. Some citizens believe that the smoking gun shouldn’t have been a mushroom cloud, while others marvel at the ability of the administration to make believe that there was a gun hiding there at all (while there were plenty of other guns waving around in plain sight). I know you’re a big supporter of animal rights, but I haven’t heard where you come down on this issue. I don’t want to get bogged down in politics, here, but let’s just say if you were to have a “Dixie Chicks incident” on your current tour with Genesis that I would support you (and someone would probably make a movie of it). Also, I think it would be great if you led by example and made peace with Peter Gabriel, although from what I’ve heard that’s really his fault. Take Care.

(Peace &) Love,

A Fan