Dear Phil Collins,

Do you disapprove the consumption of gelatin-based dessert treats?  I’m curious because I’m often tempted by various Jell-O molds and cakes during the holidays and I wouldn’t want to eat something that would offend you.  I don’t want to jeopardize our relationship so early on!

I hope you’ll be enjoying a piping-hot, socially-conscious Celebration Roast this year.  I can’t promise I’ll be adopting any ostriches, but I guarantee I won’t eat any!

Have a good Thanksgiving, 

Your Fan.