Dear Phil Collins,

I know it’s just science fiction, but I recently watched both “28 >blank< Later” movies and I had this horrible image of you being chased down by infected lunatics.  While those films are set in England and you’re living in Switzerland, are you prepared for this eventuality?  Do you have a survival kit (matches, water, batteries, duct tape, plastic sheeting, twine, moist towelettes, books, games, puzzles, or other activities)?  Do you have an exit strategy, or at least a posh second home in the south of France?  I know there’s all kinds of concern about public health these days what with the bird flu and the dirty bombs and whatnot.  It doesn’t matter where you live, Phil, none of us are safe.

I worry about you.  A lot.

Stay Safe,

Your Fan.