Dear Phil Collins,

I hope you had a good weekend.  I am so totally bummed because I found out that you called some girl who didn’t even seem to be that big a fan of yours just because she got dumped by her boyfriend.  What gives?  I know life outside the music has been tough on you, but I don’t see any reason why I should be punished just because I’m in a good relationship.  Maybe I could even help you out with your marital problems!  I do think that good songs come out of bad breakups so maybe you’re just willing to go that far for your art.  I really respect that.  But I wish you would give me a call.  You can even e-mail me or leave a comment here.  I just think we both have so much to say to each other.

I miss you!

Fondly,

Your Totally Awesome #1 Double-Plus Good Fan

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