Waiting

Dear Phil Collins,

I can tell you’re mad.  I’ve been waiting for a new letter from you but your silence speaks volumes, or at least virtual paragraphs.  I’m sorry, Phil.  I know you’re probably exhausted right now since you wrapped your U.S. tour, but I think now is the perfect time to reach out to the many fans who did not have the opportunity to connect with you at a live concert.  Such as myself.

Maybe you didn’t have a chance to read my recent letters, but I suspect that you did, and you didn’t like what you saw, or thought you saw, or heard, or smelled, or maybe thought you smelled.  For that I am sorry. 

Phil, I would do anything to get back on your good side, just let me know what you need.  And if, somehow, in making up with me, that included a signed glossy photograph of yourself, well, that would be okay, too.

But honestly, I understand if it’s too early to start thinking about your next move, you probably want to take the next few months off to enjoy the holidays with whatever family you have left.  I get that.  But when you’re ready to take that next step, I’ll be right here, waiting for you.  Welcoming.  Supportive.  Eager.

In the meantime, I’m going to listen to your song “Misunderstanding” a lot of times, because that’s kind of how I feel right now.

Take care,

Still Your Fan.

 

Video of the Week: Easy Lover (Live)

 

More Begging

Dear Phil Collins,

Have you heard of this band Of Montreal?  They’re, like, these nobodys from Canada who seem to come to my town every three months.  The only reason anyone’s even heard of them is because they did a TV commercial for meat.  If these losers can tour so much then why can’t Genesis come to Minnesota?  I know you’re probably putting on a huge show with giant puppets and lights and stuff but it’s not that hard to get here from Chicago, and we have at least two venues that are probably big enough to hold you and your legions of adoring fans.  Tony Banks’ sullen glare just doesn’t come across on video the way it does from 200 rows back.

Pretty please?

Longingly,

Your Upper Midwestern Fan

 

Home Video

Dear Phil,

Because I am too lazy or too poor (or some combination thereof) to see the Genesis reunion concert in Chicago, I must appeal to your delicate sense of vanity and beg that you record this tour in the most highest definition currently possible (I think it ends with the letter “p”) and release a most awesome concert video on any and every available recorded high-definition visual medium. I would pay nearly $40 to own such a thing and enjoy it in the comfort of my own modest rental unit. Please do it. All kinds of crappy bands that come to town twice a year put out DVDs, so you really should consider commemorating this glorious event if for no other reason than to outdo those Okie bastards in the Flaming Lips.

Sincerely Yours,

A Fan